Three, two- [entries|friends|calendar] electric0echo [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Can't you see that it's just raining [07 May 2011|04:00pm]  [B]/[L] Small bagel Banana Passion/Guava juice 1/2-1/3 of waffle Including the last failure that's about 600-700 calories. No more food for the day - just some drinking tonight :P Staying around 1000 cals today. So excited for summer!! <3 post comment

You've come to tell me something, you say I oughta know [05 May 2011|01:30pm]  Lovely day today! I've been super productive school-wise, and I'm just about to finish editing my final paper for a class. Wooopwooop! [B] Oatmeal Banana Water I'm sicksicksick so I can barely taste anything, but it was a nice breakfast, anyway :) [L] Avocado sushi 1 fruit (pear, banana, or apple) Water [D] Banana (if I feel like it) Water That's about 650 calories overall. Pretty good! I think I might just crash when I get home after my class lets out at 8 pm, blasted through my finals this week! Feeling good today :) <3 post comment

7 Day Fast Y'aaaalll [22 Apr 2011|03:12am]  It's not even to be thin at this point. It's to calm my stomach down and stop binging. I've just been straight binging. My stomach's so burnt out by now. Sooo 7 day fast!! Water and green tea, and soup on my weak days. But no solid food. Just for a week, to cleanse and calm down. This will be really nice. A time to sloooow down and focus on purifying my body, and just all around productivity. It will be really nice to not feel so bloated. Thinspo and water for the week. Just simple thoughts and simple routine :) <3 post comment

[18 Oct 2010|04:10am]  It's been a...rough few days. I cried my eyes out, realized the truth about some of my relationships, and it's definitely taken its toll on me. I don't feel the best about myself, and I really need to stake out control in my life and ground myself. I cut today, and honestly, it felt really good. I really felt like I was opening myself up and could just be, which I haven't felt in a long time. I do want someone (him) to notice it, but I'll feel so stupid if I'm still at this weight. I need to lose 10-15 pounds before I can start opening myself up to other people, which is completely do-able. I want the anorexia to be a part of my messed up package, because I feel more beautiful and deserving of pity with it. So tomorrow I begin. There's nothing left now but this, and I'm okay with that. I need him to notice how much I hurt. Maybe because I think it's the only way to make him actually care about me. Or maybe it's because I want all of his attention. Probably both. One meal a day for this week. I need to feel empty and light. <3 post comment

[01 Jan 2010|11:38pm]  Too fat for recovery. That doesn't make any sense, but it's what I've been thinking :/ post comment

[03 Dec 2009|06:24pm] I was planning on fasting today, but then midday I forced myself to eat. I snuggled up on the couch, watched Sex & the City, and had 700 calories over the next few hours. It was really hard but I did it and I'm proud :) I got kind of freaked out and worked out for half an hour. I'm not supposed to because I have the flu, but I felt like I had to :/ Then I weighed myself AGAIN after I already had this morning, and was obviously at a higher weight because I drank a lot of water and ate food, and weight always get higher later in the day. I knew all of that, but I still got on the scale, and cried by myself...I'm stupid. It still hasn't snowed yet here...I'm about to buy a snow machine. xx post comment

[21 Nov 2009|12:42pm] Off to work on college apps... The smell of food from the kitchen is making me sick, but I love him more than I hate me...:/ xx post comment

Winter!! [21 Nov 2009|02:19am] My favorite season is coming up!! I never post here :( Usually in my xanga(s) I guess. I've been having a lot of fun looking at colleges, which sounds weird. The application process doesn't seem to phase me as much as it does the people around me. I really want to travel. Like everywhere. I can't imagine growing older without seeing more places. That's why I'm looking at schools that have more study abroad programs; experiencing new cultures is really important to me. And I guess in a weird way I feel like getting out of what I know will get me out of my own head. Deep down I always feel like if I immerse myself in the unfamiliar I won't spend so much time controlling how I look. Idk... Anyway I am literally counting down the days until Christmas and until the first snowfall :) xx post comment

[20 Aug 2009|02:54pm] most people would rather live their lives being certain they're miserable than risk being happy post comment

[19 Aug 2009|11:47am] There is life and death in the power of the tongue. post comment

recharge [11 Nov 2008|11:34pm] I've just made all of my other entries private, and I'm removing the pictures of me. N e w s t a r t I need motivation. I need support. I tried -- I can't do it alone. post comment

winner [05 Oct 2008|08:20pm] So much work-I just don't do it. AP and H. C o l l e g e. Everything starts now. History, Bio, English. Hours. Have the time, don't have the will. Lose the time and gain the will. All I wanna do is BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM. post comment

i don't ever want to hate you [29 May 2007|03:21am] confused but that's ok [only it isn't really] brokebrokebroke outside my house is a cactus plant they call the century tree Decline and rot, my angel, that's the way of the world new shoes poseur s          u       m            m             e                  r post comment

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